Ég þurfti að skrifa svokallaða "deskjokes" fyrir sketch kúrsinn minn. Ég er nokkuð viss um að mínir verði meira absúrd eftir því sem á líður þessa tíma, mér er nefnilega frekar illa við kennarann minn í þessum tímum.
The Seth Rogen vehicle "Zack and Miri Make a Porno" opened this weekend at the no.2 spot at the box office. When approached for comment the actor was amazed that people still haven't realized that he can't act.
This just in: Coca Cola is popular/ running makes you tired/ candy tastes good/ sex is fun. I can't really decide on these.
A woman in her late 20's drowned off the coast off the Philippines this morning, when reached for comment the Ocean said: "what, it's my fault the bitch can't swim?"
Three Cows have mysteriously disappeared in the countryside of britain over the last month leaving farmers dumbfounded. When asked whether she thought the incidents were related, local cow said "moo."
Scientists thought they had made a startling discovery when they sent a probe to Mercury as they saw that it looked just like their back lawn. They then realized that the probe had crashed, these scientists were subsequently fired... into outer space.
John McCain was seen buying some clothing items over the weekend, one of which was reportedly an "I am with Stupid" t-shirt.
The comic book movie The Green Lantern has been given the green light to go into production and will cost many greenbacks. Sources say that Green Day will provide the soundtrack and that Eve Green will star. Shooting will start in Greenwich and there has been talk of so called "green screenings", which, of course are environmentally sound. Originally the plot was supposed to be taken from a Graham Green novel but legal issues have arisen about that, the plot will now involve the green goblin and how the green lantern, played by Seth Green, will stop the greenhouse effect. No news on the Green Party's involvement as of yet.
Now on to sports: Chris Paul is a machine. After he became the first man to ever score 20 point and hand out 10 assists in six straight games to start a season a North Carolina based scientist has confirmed that Chris Paul is indeed a robot and that he made him. When reached for comment Chris Paul only said: "computer says no." Then his head exploded.
CBC journalist Mellissa Fung said she was kept in an underground chamber west of Kabul for nearly four weeks before being released on Saturday.
Fung described her 28-day ordeal in a videotaped interview with Afghan National Directorate (NDS) security director Amrullah Saleh.
"The cave was very, very small," said Fung.
Scarlett Johanson gave birth to two kittens this week, one was called Snowflake and the other Juxtaposition. Mother and offspring are in good health.
A soccer match in Bolivia ended with players fighting with police. Eduardo Zenteno, a player from the losing side, Aurora would not leave the field when he received a red card for a bad tackle. The referee asked for the assistance of police officers but that resulted in Eduardo's teammates fighting the police. The goalie even hit them with the corner flag. As a result of this cocaine, amfetamin, speed and all uppers have been put on the list of banned substances in the Bolivian league.
In other news the next round of games all ended in 0-0 draws.
This just in: If my spouse hasn't cooked me meal by the time I get home I'll go berserk.
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